


Set Me Free

by Supernaturalesque



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Firefighter Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Songfic, Teacher Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernaturalesque/pseuds/Supernaturalesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean really hated hospitals and Castiel knew this. So, the one time something goes wrong and Dean actually goes to a hospital, well... he decides not to tell Cas about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A quick note, this is a song fic so before you start reading I highly suggest you go check out the song. It's called "Captured" by The Digital Age. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjDG62H9qME  
> Enjoy!

**Set Me Free-Chapter 1**

**_"Love, you've captured me again_ **

**_Love you steal my heart_ **

**_And oh, when I reach out You're always there."_ **

            Dean and Castiel never saw eye to eye on getting help from others - especially medical professionals. So, the one-time Dean actually visits a doctor, he decides not to tell Cas about it. Dean never even thought his life would take such a drastic turn. He just assumed that his visit to the doctor's office after he coughed up blood one night would be some sort of routine checkup, he didn't really consider that it would actually be a problem. He was obviously worried, he wasn't that stupid, he knew coughing up blood was clearly a problem he just didn't want to believe it was a serious issue. Dean had always been pretty healthy, in good physical shape and, as far as he knew, he didn't have a family history of illness so in his eyes; he had no reason to be concerned.

          Doctor Owens told Dean that he'd have to quit working. This, of course, did not go over very well with him. Dean had been working as a firefighter officially for the last 15 years, and as a child he had always helped his father around the station, cleaning things up and learning the tricks of the trade. Saving people and fighting fires was really all that Dean knew how to do. It was what he loved. He didn't want anyone to lose their mother in a fire like he had. Dean learned that fateful day in Dr. Owens' office that a rescue mission gone wrong a couple of months ago had a bigger impact on his health than he originally assumed. The doctors back then said he should be fine, though it turns out they were seriously wrong. Dean had been trying to rescue a single mom and her daughter from the old house they'd been living in when the second story of the building had collapsed. Rufus Turner, another firefighter on Dean's team had managed to grab the two girls and get them out but Dean got stuck under the fallen debris and his equipment had malfunctioned. Before he passed out from pain he had inhaled a lot of smoke from the fire. Other than some relatively minor sprains and bruises given the situation, Dean had been extremely lucky for his lack of injury, or so he thought.

         His life had never been perfect but he had always tried to make life for his little brother Sam as good as he possibly could. He took care of Sam more than their father ever did and he would do anything to make sure that Sam was well taken care of. As Sam fondly told him on multiple occasions, Dean was the epitome of a "mother-hen." He had hoped he could carry out his over-barring duties for years to come. But now... but now things were different. He thought he would have been able to see Sam get married to his longtime girlfriend, Jessica. At least he had hoped that he could see them get married so he could pass the torch of watching over Sam to Jess. He had hoped he'd be able to see Sam achieve the American dream with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Hell, he had hoped that one day he'd grow a pair and finally ask his longtime partner, Cas, to marry him. He'd never see Sam get all teary-eyed at the altar; he would never see Cas dressed to the nines on their wedding day, never be able to grow old with the man he loved. Never, never, never... Dean sat reeling as his thoughts overloaded with all the "never will" and "what if." He sat there holding back the tears; he would be strong for Sam, strong for Cas, for Jess and Bobby, for all of his family. He wouldn't tell them about his illness; this wasn't a burden he wanted them to bear. Their family had seen enough loss through the years. Dean would walk through this alone, it was easier that way. Dean doesn't remember much from when he was diagnosed but a few hours later this is what he can recall...

          ...Dean sat in the all to white room of Dr. Owens examination area, gripping the arms of his chair, shaking with the weight of the news he had heard. Dr. Owens had come in earlier (Dean couldn't remember exactly how long he had been sitting in that chair, it may have been hours but it felt as if the weight of the world had fallen onto him in seconds), looking grim. He had started by asking Dean a few life related questions, though he didn't get very far before Dean snapped and told his doctor to cut to the chase. Owens had taken a few deep breaths to prepare himself for the news he had to share. Dr. Owens hated this part of his job the most. Telling his patients the news they had been dreading all along, the predictions they made that the worst had happened had actually come true. When this news was given to Dean, Dean didn't know what to do. His face went blank as the Doctor started spouting off treatment options to make him more comfortable but Dean wasn't listening anymore, Dean wished Cas was there so he could break the facade and hug someone but Cas wasn't there so, he just sat there staring off into empty space, repeating the news he just received over and over again in his head, hoping that maybe if he said it enough he would wake up from this nightmare...

_"I have lung cancer; I only have two months to live."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean really hated hospitals and Castiel knew this. So, the one time something goes wrong and Dean actually goes to a hospital, well... he decides not to tell Cas about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long! I knew what I wanted this chapter to be about but each time I wrote it, it just sounded wrong so I had to rewrite several parts. I'm happy with it now and Chapter 3 should be up sooner than this one.

**Set Me Free – Chapter 2**

**_“Love you've captured me again_ **

**_Oh God, you steal my heart_ **

**_And oh when I reach out_ **

**_You’re always there”_ **

*DEAN*

            Dean sighed; this discussion was going nowhere fast. Cas was pissed at him, he didn't understand why Dean couldn't work anymore, that of course could be easily resolved but Dean refused to put this burden on his family. “Cas, just think of it as… think of it as a prolonged vacation. I'll start working again eventually just give me a couple of months.”

            “What do you mean a ‘prolonged vacation’?” Castiel motioned air quotes around prolonged vacation looking at Dean expectantly. Cas clearly wasn't’t buying his crappy excuse. They had been arguing for a while now and both of them were reaching a breaking point. This isn't what Dean had expected from this conversation and if he was being honest with himself, it was draining all of his energy. Cancer sucks.

            Dean rubbed his hands over his face. "Look Cas, the chief thinks I need some time off okay? Can we just drop it?” Dean asked softly. He really just wanted a beer and some time to sleep.

*CASTIEL*

“Fine but we _will_ talk about this Dean, something else is going on here and I _will_ figure it out. I have to pick up some groceries, I'll be back.” He walked out the door, slamming it shut, not even bothering to kiss Dean goodbye. As he started the car, still seething, he slammed his fist against the steering wheel. He was pissed that Dean took a “vacation” without discussing it with him first but that wasn't what was making him so angry. What was bothering him was the fact that Dean, his significant other of seven years, was hiding something from him. Cas could read Dean like an open book. He may not be into “chick-flick moments” but when something was bothering him, Cas knew exactly what to look for. As he started the car and pulled out of the apartment complex, Castiel decided not to dwell on the issue, Dean would tell Cas when he was ready.

* * *

 

            After several hours of running errands, collecting groceries and supplies he needed for the class he had to teach Monday morning, Cas came home to find Dean asleep on the couch. He smiled softly at his sleeping form, relishing in how calm the love of his life looked when he slept. Trying to avoid waking up Dean, Cas tip-toed into the kitchen walking as quietly as he could manage, while holding his numerous grocery bags. He was shocked by what he saw when he entered the kitchen. Dean had prepared his favorite dinner while he was gone. Dean had made burgers and fries just the way Cas liked them as a peace offering for their earlier fight. While Cas was still fairly upset he couldn't stay mad at Dean for long, especially since he had gone through all this effort to non-verbally tell Cas he was sorry.

            Setting the bags down on the counter, Cas walked back into the living room and walked over to Dean. He knelt down in front of the couch, still trying to be as quiet as possible. He took a moment to appreciate how handsome Dean was before he started peppering Dean's face with gentle kisses. He kissed his eyelids, his neck and cheeks. Then he kissed his lips with more pressure, communicating his own wordless apology and he felt Dean smile against his mouth.

             "Good afternoon sleepy-head," Cas said grinning at Dean, "food smells good." Dean groaned as he stretched out on the couch.

            "Ugh damn I didn't mean to fall asleep," Dean frowned, "I was trying to make up for earlier man, I'm sorry. I planned on being awake."

            Cas gave Dean a small smile, " it's alright Dean, I'm sorry too. I love you. And I also love your cooking so how 'bout we go dig in, then you can help me put stuff away." Cas offered his hand out to Dean.

            Dean grinned at his partner and allowed himself to be helped up and instead of dropping Dean's hand Cas walked hand in hand with the man he loved into the kitchen.

* * *

 

            The next morning Castiel woke up to an empty bed and the sound of the sink running high in the bathroom. Cas frowned, the last time Dean turned the sink up so high was when he got sick after drinking too much and didn't want Cas to hear. Dean hadn't had any alcohol last night though, he had opted for some root beer instead. Cas got out of bed and made his was over to the bathroom door. After living together for so many years Cas didn't bother to knock anymore. He walked in and turned off the sink and found Dean asleep, leaning against the bath tub. Cas had no idea what had made Dean sick but he was concerned. It was rare that Dean ever got sick, he was usually very healthy.

            Cas and Dean had plans to go visit Castiel's brother Gabriel at the bakery he owned later in the day but with Dean sick and their plans out the window, Cas took his time and gently lifted Dean from his place on the cold floor, carried him back into the bedroom, and placed him down on their bed. As Cas was pulling the covers over him, Dean's eyelids fluttered open.

            "Hey babe," Cas said gently, "how are you feeling?"

            "Ugh, like shit." Dean grimaced at the taste in his mouth and grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand. After drinking some water trying to get rid of the taste Dean continued, " what time is it?"

            "About 7:30. You should get some sleep. I'll go call Gabriel and tell him we can't stop by today. Do you need anything? Asprin? Some crackers?" Dean shook his head no.

            "Sorry about screwing up our Sunday plans Cas, I know you were looking forward to meeting up with Gabe."

            "Don't worry about it Dean, it will be fine, there is always next week. Get some rest." Cas sat running his fingers through Dean's hair as he watched his love quickly drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! If you have a tumblr, feel free to follow me at supernaturalesque.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

Set Me Free - Chapter 3

"Cause love has come to rescue me  
Your love has come to set me free  
Your love, love is all I need  
Your love"

Dean left the notary office feeling drained. He wasnt really sure what he had just taken care of, though the Notary had assured him that everything was in place. He just knew he had to get his Last Will and Testament taken care of before it was too late. The meeting didnt take very long, all of his belonging were split up between Sam and Cas. In reality Cas got almost all of his things including all of his old tapes and the complete control over the apartment they shared and all of the firefighting gear he had inherited from his father. One of the few things that Dean hadnt been comfortable with was handling who got the Impala, in the end he chose Sam. Not that he wouldnt love to give Cas his Baby, it was just that Sam and Dean had so many childhood memories in that car and if something were to happen between Sam and Cas once he was gone... well he just wanted to be sure that Sam would always have that connection.  
Dean's morning which was already starting to drain him of energy was about to become a very exhausting day. He had told Cas he had a few errands to run and to make himself look less suspicious, Dean bought Cas some flowers on his way back to their apartment. He was heading back there to pick Cas up so they could head over to the Roadhouse together. Today all of their family and friends were getting together to celebrate Jo Harvelle's birthday. Jo is like a little sister to Dean and is also the daughter of Ellen Harvelle who owns and runs the Roadhouse.  
†********†********††**************  
The impala rumbled to a halt in a parking space outside of the roadhouse. Dean turned to Cas and smiled, "come on, lets go make fun of Jo for getting old." Cas huffed a laugh, shook his head and got out of the car. Dean took this moment of privacy to rub his face with his hands. He was already exhausted, and knowing his family, this was going to be a very long night. Dean really wished he could have a drink right about now.  
At Castiel's urging to hurry up, Dean pulled himself out of the car, trying to clear his face of any trace of sickness. Cas grabbed his hand and Dean allowed himself to be pulled into the dimly lit place he knew as his second home, The Roadhouse. The loving couple was immediately greeted with a chorus of hellos and many hugs and pats on the back. It was moments like these that made Dean remember how loved he truely was. He had this large family, blood related and otherwise, that cared for him so much. He felt like such a prick for dying, he hated the fact that he was leaving all these people behind. Dean shook off these thoughts and let himself be enveloped in the familiar feeling of those around him.  
...CAS…  
"Hey Cas, is Dean feeling alright? He looks tired," Jo asked Cas concerned. Castiel frowned. He had noticed a change in Dean lately, his parter had been much more guarded since he quit his job. Cas glanced over at Dean, now that he really looked at him, Jo was right. Dean looked exhausted, he was seated next to Sam laughing at something he said but Cas could tell that the laugh didnt quite reach his eyes.  
"I'm not sure. Thinking back on it, he denied the beer I offered," Cas paused in his musings and turned back to Jo. "I'm sorry but I think I'll take Dean home now. You're right he looks tired and knowing him, he won't tell anyone either."  
"Go ahead," Jo said with a small sympathetic smile. "You're good for him Cas, at least he has someone close by to take care of him when he is being stubborn," she added with a laugh.  
Cas gave Jo a hug goodbye, "I'll be sure to call you or Ellen if he truely isn't alright, take care Joanna," with that, Cas walked over to Dean and convinced his love to go home after many remarks of good night.  
…DEAN,…  
The following morning, Dean woke up feeling like shit. His muscles were screaming and his head was pounding. He didn't except to feel this bad so soon but the stage four cancer his body is battling is horrendous. He slowly rolled out of bed and made his way downstairs. Still in his pajamas, Dean went into the kitchen to find coffee already made and a note from Cas next to the pot. After pouring himself a cup with slightly shaking hands, Dean grabbed the note.  
"Dean, went to work. Should be home by 4. You seemed tired last night, get some rest today. Love you. -Cas"  
Dean smiled softly as he read the note, Cas was always so thoughtful. He was so lucky to have someone in his life like Castiel who didn't put up with any of his bullshit, especially when Cas notices that Dean doesn't feel good.  
After gently placing the note down on the counter, Dean slowly makes his was to thebathroom take a shower, being careful not to further jostle his already sore muscles. Upon reaching the bathroom, Dean turned the shower on giving the water time to heat up. Dean, for the first time since learning he had cancer, took a minute to actually look actually himself carefully. Chemo therapy was definently hitting him hard and without the cover of flannel shirts and leather jackets, it showed. It was obvious that Dean was loosing weight. The little chubbiness that he used to have was gone and his collar bones were a little more prominent then they used to be. Dean frowned at his reflection. What was truly unsettling for Dean wasnt the weight loss, it was his hair. Though he doesn't actually have much hair to begin with, it is actually starting to thin. What bothers Dean so much about this isn't the actual hair loss (he can live with a little balding, he isn't a girl about his hair like Sam). What bothers him so much is how noticeable the hair loss is going to be. If his hair continues to fall out like this, Cas is definently going to start asking questions. As the mirror starts to fog up and Dean can no longer see the depleting features of his reflection, he gives a sigh of resignation and steps into the shower.  
The heat of the shower was a short relief to soothe the ache in his bones long enough to take a nap before his chemo therapy session. At about noon Dean gets up and gets ready to leave. Still feeling too sick to drive, and not wanting to risk dam age to the impala, Dean sucks it up and calls a taxi. He does some quick math and if all goes to plan, Dean should be home, as if he never left, before Castel gets off of work. It's too bad fate isn't on Dean's side these days.  
†********†********††**************

"Alright Dean, good work today  
You know the drill, if, and only if, you are feeling well enough, you are free to go." Without actually gracing the doctor with a verbal response, Dean nods in agreement. Dean is actually feeling much worse than he'd like to admit. And even in his current state of constant tremors and impending nausea, Dean blames his Winchester pride for not speaking up... he probably should have said something before struggling to his feet. Dean doesn't make it more than three steps when he feels himself collapsing and the world goes dark....  
Dean's eyes slowly flicker open as he gets his bearing and realizes he is lying in a hospital bed. Panic starts to fill him as he looks at the clock and it reads '6:45.' 'Shit,' Dean thinks to himself, 'I'm so fucking screwed.' And as Dean thinks back to all that he did today, he realizes that in his rush to leave, he forgot his cell phone on the kitchen counter. So, even if he wanted to call Cas with some bullshit excuse as to why he wasn't home yet he wouldn't be able to. He is too paranoid to use the hospital phone for fear of caller ID or tracking of the hospital number. Dean then tries to work himself into a sitting position, under the impression that if he left now, then maybe Cas wouldn't be so mad, and that's when a nurse walked in.  
"Woah, Mr. Winchester, where do you think you're going? I insist that you lie back down right now."  
"M'am, with all do respect, I need to get home," Dean says gruffly, "I've got a man at home waiting for me who is going to be pissed that I'm not home."  
"Well why don't you just call him? I'm sure he'd understand," the nurse asks at she gently pushes Dean back against the bed. Dean gave a defeated sigh, "if only things were that simple," he whispered to no one in particular. After that Dean let the nurse, Tessa, take his vitals as he just lies back quietly thinking about how much of a burden keeping the secret of his cancer is. It didn't take long for Tessa to leave the room and for Dean to get lost in his thoughts.  
Staring and the all white ceiling of the blank, chilled, hospital room, it finally hit him. It was the epiphany that sent Dean reeling, the tears that poured from his eyes were beyond his control. It was here, all alone, that Dean realizes how many people he will miss. How many people will miss him. Thinking about Sam makes it hard for Dean to breathe. Then when he finally thinks about Cas, the ache he feels in his chest is so overwhelming that Dean thinks he may be dying on the spot. Dean can no longer live with the facade he'd created. All the ideas he'd formed in his mind that he could handle this came tumbling down. It is this night that Dean finally accepts the full truth. He is dying. He is dying and he isn't ready to go. He is dying and he is completely helpless to stop it. Dean chokes out several heartwrenching sobs. The thought of not being able to live out his dreams with Castiel completely breaks him. Any resolve Dean had mashed together over the last couple of weeks is now gone. As all his courage breaks and the anxiety of dying hits him, Dean slips into a deep dreamless sleep.  
The following morning Dean wakes up just as tired as he was the day before, but he only has one thought on him mind, 'Cas.' Dean has to see him now. Even if he was still too stubborn to tell his partner he was sick, he needs some sort of calming reassurance that maybe things will be okay. That maybe if he held Cas close enough, he wouldnt have to let him go. Then maybe the nightmare he was living wouldn't feel quite so real.  
When Dean's doctor came in, he begged, pleaded, and argued until the man finally let Dean go home. As he changed back into his own clothes and as he took the taxi ride back to the apartment, Dean tried to steel himself for the inevitable reunion with Castiel as soon as he had to open the door. He knew Cas was going to be pissed but Dean wasn't quite prepared for the flood of emotions that hit him when the door finally opened...

†********†********††**************

Dean unlocked the apartment door slowly, not really ready to face Cas yet. He took a deep breath and walked in. The first thing he sees is Castiel pacing back and forth looking worried, as if he hadn't slept at all the night before, and knowing Cas he probably hadnt. Cas stopped pacing when he heard Dean and turned to face him. The look of worry was gone from Castiel's face, in its place was a look of intense anger. "Where the hell have you been?! Do you have any idea how worried I've been? How worried all of has been? I've been calling everybody trying to figure out where you were! What the hell happened Dean? You've been so out of it the last two weeks! What are you hid-" Castiel was interuppted by  
"Cas," Dean's voice breaks as he utters his name. He proceeded to carelessly drop his bag and the keys onto the floor. As fast as it had appeared, the look of rage was gone from Castiel's face as Dean started to close the distance between them. Dean wraps his arms around Castiel and sobs into his shoulder. Dumbfounded Castiel wraps his arms around Dean, offering the silent comfort of the hug and he gently asks Dean what's wrong. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because Dean just sobs harder into Castiel's shoulder. In between sobs, Dean starts to repeat a steady mantra of apologies. He never gives away what he is sorry for, even now Dean refuses to tell Castiel that he is sick. Instead, he just holds the love of his life closer, hoping that Cas just might understand that he hates having to keep something like this from him. After a while of Dean's quiet pleas and Cas' soothing lull, Dean whispers something that Castiel doesn't quite catch but if he had not been shushing Dean's anguish, it would have sounded a hell of a lot like Dean whispering to himself, "I don't want to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the format of this chapter is sloppy, I wrote and posted it from my phone since I don't have my laptop yet. I'm also sorry for this taking so long I'm so busy and forgetful that I forget to write! Oh well, enjoy! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading chapter one! I just wanted to say that this is my first fic and I don't have a Beta reader so I'm sorry if I missed some errors and if anyone would like to be my beta the spot is up for grabs! I'd also like to state that I am not an expert so if there are any inaccuracies in relation to Dean's profession or his illness than I apologize. I have taken some creative liberties in relation to those two things in order for this plot line to work. I really hope you guys like it so far :)   
> (I'm not sure if I have to but I will anyways...) Disclaimer: I do not own the song Captured by the digital age nor do I own Supernatural and its characters. All rights are reserved to the respective owners. This a work of fiction based off these works and I am not profiting from it.


End file.
